Two nights ago a friend of mine named Sarah called to tell me that the camp she's working at this summer is looking for a videographer. She asked if I would speak with one of the camp directors about the position, and I told her I would, although I wasn't really excited about the idea of going to camp for the summer. I have my job here, and I'm supposed to start a silk screening class next week, which I was really looking forward to. But I said I'd pray about it and I kind of half heartedly asked God to tell me what I should do.
Today I spoke with the director, Jeremy, over the phone. He told me more about the position and the camp itself, and although it doesn't pay much, I would earn more money in 8 weeks there than I would working part-time at my current job. (Keep in mind that I have to start paying on several of my student loans this month, as I can no longer keep them in forbearance.) He also said I didn't have to be there right away, which was another concern of mine. Still, I wasn't convinced it was what I wanted to do.
If you recall, only about a month ago I made a post saying that I felt that Richmond was where God wanted me to be. He had closed the door in Columbia, and I was feeling good about Richmond. I had silk screening classes, VBS, and hanging out with my friends to look forward to. I was excited about staying in Richmond, and to be honest I was almost at the point of tears at the thought of going to camp, even just for 8 weeks.
(I think, too, one of my big concerns was that I wasn't good enough for a job like this. I haven't done video since college, and I've been very insecure about my skills since then. I was also a bit concerned about fitting in with everyone else at camp. I only went to camp two summers my entire life, and I've never worked at one. It's a completely different atmosphere for me. So, these things added to my worries.)
I talked to my mom and to my sister about it. They both thought it was a great idea and that I should go for it. I still was not sure. I have been wrestling with this since 3 o'clock this afternoon. Making pros and cons lists; pleading with God for a sign; telling myself that I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control (2 Tim. 1:7). But I still felt no clear answer (surely you know how frustrating that is).
So I did the only thing I could think to do: I pulled it out of a hat. I know it sounds silly, but it was the only way I could think of to really get an answer. I tore a piece of paper into 8 smaller pieces, and just to really make sure it was God speaking, I wrote the word "camp" on one piece and the word "Richmond" on the remaining 7. Then I folded each piece in half, placed them in my sister's baseball cap, and tossed them around while asking God to place his hand on mine and be clear about what his plan was. I told him that whatever he said, I would obey.
I pulled out a piece of paper. It clearly read "camp," and my heart almost sank. Obviously I said, "Best two out of three!" (just like you would have, I'm sure) and threw it back into the hat. A few more tosses, I closed my eyes, and picked again. "Camp."
Can't argue with that, can you? I guess God has something there for me. But I still want to take silk screening, so tomorrow I've planned to call the Visual Arts Center to find out how often they offer the class, and if my scholarship will transfer or if I'll have to apply for it again. I would call my boss tomorrow as well but it's her day off so I'll call her on Friday to ask about the possibility of holding my job until I get back. Maybe giving my hours to someone else, I don't know. I don't want to lose my job because I love it there, plus I'll need a plan for when I get back anyway.
So, I guess that's the big update. I would so covet your prayers for this summer; it feels like it's going to be a doozy.
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